What time is it, Eccles?

What follows is arguably the most famous single sequence in any Goon Show. The show is The Mysterious Punch-up-the-Conker (series 7, episode 18). About 25 minutes in the show, Bluebottle and Eccles are "in the ground floor attic" of a clock repairers. After listening to lots of timepieces ticking, chiming, cuckooing etc. for a while...

BluebottleWhat time is it Eccles?
EcclesErr, just a minute. I, I've got it written down 'ere on a piece of paper. A nice man wrote the time down for me this morning.
BluebottleOoooh, then why do you carry it around with you Eccles?
EcclesWell, umm, if a anybody asks me the ti-ime, I ca-can show it to dem.
BluebottleWait a minute Eccles, my good man...
EcclesWhat is it fellow?
BluebottleIt's writted on this bit of paper, what is eight o'clock, is writted.
EcclesI know that my good fellow. That's right, um, when I asked the fella to write it down, it was eight o'clock.
BluebottleWell then. Supposing when somebody asks you the time, it isn't eight o'clock?
EcclesAh, den I don't show it to dem.
Eccles[Smacks lips] Yeah.
BluebottleWell how do you know when it's eight o'clock?
EcclesI've got it written down on a piece of paper!
BluebottleOh, I wish I could afford a piece of paper with the time written on.
Bluebottle'Ere Eccles?
BluebottleLet me hold that piece of paper to my ear would you? - 'Ere. This piece of paper ain't goin'.
EcclesWhat? I've been sold a forgery!
BluebottleNo wonder it stopped at eight o'clock.
EcclesOh dear.
BluebottleYou should get one of them tings my grandad's got.
BluebottleHis firm give it to him when he retired.
BluebottleIt's one of dem tings what it is that wakes you up at eight o'clock, boils the kettil, and pours a cuppa tea.
EcclesOhhh yeah! What's it called? Um.
BluebottleMy granma.
EcclesOhh... Ohh, ah wait a minute. How does she know when it's eight o'clock?
BluebottleShe's got it written down on a piece of paper!

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